Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
