This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
