Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
