in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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