The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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