Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
