ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
