i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
