I puked a lego.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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