Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
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