google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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