Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
