Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
