so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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