Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
