Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
