I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
