Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
