Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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