Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
