Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
