My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
