Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
