I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
