I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
