theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
They have beer where we have blood.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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