I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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