paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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