definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
