If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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