Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
