i'm signing you up for texting rehab
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
