anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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