Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize