Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
that is very illegal...i love you.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize