end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
