I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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