And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize