Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
