You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Someone came in the potted fern
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
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