Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
