Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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