dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
