Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
