Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
