I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
