four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
