god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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