i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
