Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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