No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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