i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
