used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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