Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Randomize
