Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
