I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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