his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Fuck appropriateness.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
