he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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