can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize