She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
