Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
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